Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
