Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why can't burritos get me drunk
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize