Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
