I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
