Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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