he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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