That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
