Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
