I'll bet she douches with gravy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize