he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry about my life...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
