I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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