You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
