Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
