I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
