Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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