; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize