Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
