One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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