This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
