she woke up with a sticky ear
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
