onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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