Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
