I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
