I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
