It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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