he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
