who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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