Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
