hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
