It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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