**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
