Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
