idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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