after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
sex in a hospital.. check
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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