My hand turned me down
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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