do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
