so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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