Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
