mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
