I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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