Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
