I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
