quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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