Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
