Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
