oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
