peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have fence marks all over my body
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
