we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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