Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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