who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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