Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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