question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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