The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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