Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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