If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We are two peas in an std pod
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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