Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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