Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
