both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
