I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
