I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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