Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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