with your own penis?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
