Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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