Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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