So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
