And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
