apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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