Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
