A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I look better un-naked...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I believe in your delicious
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